No news

They say no news means good news. Let's just pray that's the case here.

Like the animals who hibernate during winter, this blog will probably do the same.

Just in case I hibernate too long, here's wishing friends (my best friends included - you know who you are!), relatives and acquaintances who are performing their Hajj this year a great and successful pilgrimage. May the journey be the beginning of a better tomorrow, and the return be a fresh start altogether.

Another loss...

My mobile phone rang when I was grabbing a box of tissue paper from the shelf at the supermarket yesterday afternoon. I grappled for the phone in my pocket, and glanced at the name on the screen: it was Bluewonder - what a surprise!

Unfortunately, I should have guessed that the phonecall would bring me sad news - a much dreaded news for anyone! Our mentor in Edinburgh, Dr Haji Zainuddin Jaffar, had passed away in Brunei - fighting cancer of the lungs at a rate most admired! (he'd be delivering his lectures a day after his chemo session; believing that he was still able to serve the ummah!)

Dr Zainuddin, or Ustaz Din as we knew him, was an intelligent and friendly man who portrayed qualities of a true leader. Many of us will never be able to forget his bright smile and warm heart. Together with his wife, Kak Ni'mah (the daughter of the late Mufti Brunei), they were always warm to us and offered us invaluable advice about almost everything under the sun: from studentship to marriage!

Even after returning home from abroad, Ustaz Din and family still kept in touch with us, despite everyone being all over the place and busy with our own schedules.

Thank you Ustaz, for being there for us and for shaping us into what we are today.

For more details of this respectful man, check out his eldest daughter's blog.

Al-fatihah...

My darling angels

My first-borns are big now. Last September witnessed them entering secondary school just after celebrating their 12th birthday. Their new school is 2.3 miles (approximately 5 kilometres) away from home. They have agreed to cycle to school everyday using the spanking new bikes a friend presented.

Now that the days are getting shorter and colder, I have to ensure that they are well-dressed and equipped so that their cycle is bearable, if not pleasant. Another boy living closeby, who used to take the public bus, has even asked whether he could join them everyday. With this boy, they have discovered a short-cut and also the delights of Ye Olde Traditional Sweet Shop (now THIS I've got to keep my eye on!).

Some days, I feel a tightening sensation in my chest as I send them off at the door with prayers and kisses. My boys are big now... May Allah guide and protect both of you (and the other two) always!

If you are reading this, then I'd appreciate your help!

My friend, Adam, is running his PhD research on consumer perception of blogs, a very interesting topic altogether. You don't have to be a blogger (i.e. own a blog) to complete the online survey. As long as you are reading THIS entry, then you're qualified - wow, congratulations! Silent bloggers are most welcome too as responses are deemed confidential (I won't have a single clue!).

Please click here to answer the survey which will only take approximately 15 minutes to complete. Adam has a few prizes offered:

• An opportunity to suggest a donation of £100 to a charity of your choice or take the cash prize for yourself,


• A go at being one of the ten lucky respondents who will get Amazon vouchers worth £10 each.

However, one of the main reasons I support his work is because it makes a 50p donation to Cancer Research UK for each completed survey - yay! The winner will be announced on his blog http://www.adamok.net/ later in the year or perhaps early next year (depending on how fast he reaches his target of 400 respondents). If you provide your email address, the notification of your win will be sent straight into your mailbox.

Adam of http://www.adamok.net/ and http://ok-lah.blogspot.com/ has offered some incentives to me for the affiliate, and I have thus decided that any monetary gains obtained from this survey will go to the children (that's double incentive for you guys - donating to orphans!).

I therefore thank you all in advance for your cooperation.

Two years ago

Asyhadu an laa ilaha Ilallaah... wa asyhadu anna Muhammadarrasulullah...

I incessantly whispered this in his left ear while his mother whispered in the right once his breathing pattern changed. They were slow and heavy. In a matter of minutes, he was already gone...

I can play this scene repeatedly in my mind. Or perhaps the scenes of the past few days or weeks. Two years ago, today - 18th Syawal, he returned to our Creator.

I have no regrets but the human in me can't help feeling the lost of a man so close. So with every pain or flashback that I have, I probe for lessons to be learnt. What did he do right that made it easy for him? What have I gained from the experience? What have I done to prepare for death?

Everything here is not ours to claim, but the ownership belongs to the Almighty.

(Apologies for a sombre post!)

Lillahi ta'ala

It is easy to forget that sometimes we do things for the wrong reasons; to impress, to oblige, to solve other problems, or to get acknowledged. The niah (niat) is vital and everything we do has to stem from the soul reason, i.e. lillahi ta'ala, or for Him - our Lord.



We seek knowledge, respect the elders, eat and drink, care for our family, friends and children all because of Allah s.w.t.



There's no such thing as 'I'm doing this for you...' or 'If not for my mother, I won't be doing this..'



It's time for a pause. Reflect and remember. Adjustments need to be made in our daily routine. I thank my eldest sister who injected this reminder in me some time ago (yet I often forget).

فَبِأَيِّ آلاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ
Then which of the powers of your Lord would you deny? (Surah Ar-Rahman: 13)

Songs

A buddy posted a similar video of this song on her FB wall, reminding me of this particular video. This song used to be my song (yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic). Such strong impact it has on me that it never fails to bleed the old scar. Never.

It's a love song that's painfully ironic.

"and when I'm with you, so close to feeling alive.."

"a life goes by, romantic dreams will stop...so I BID MINE GOODBYE.. and never knew"

"so close to reaching that famous happy end.. almost believing this was not pretend"
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Ah well...(wiping tears), I'm not looking back to torture myself. No more of this song please!! Next!